


So Many Things That You Wish I Knew

by gunboots



Series: I'm Such a Fool for Sacrifice [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Age Regression/De-Aging, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Crack, Emotional Baggage, Falling In Love, First Time Topping, M/M, Multi, Peter and Tony both are bad at coping and relationships, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony gets turned back into a teenager but its at the worst time ever, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, background praise kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 02:14:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7415284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunboots/pseuds/gunboots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's Tony Stark, talks with Tony's voice, has the same gestures, with the bravado and then some.</p><p>But he's not Mr. Stark.</p><p>"How long has he been like this?" Peter has so many complicated feelings right now especially at how obvious it is the other teen (he looks like he's Peter's age which again so complicated) is definitely checking him out.</p><p>[Peter trying and failing to deal with complicated relationship issues while on his first year of university. Tony makes matters worse in true Tony Stark fashion by regressing back to being 18.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Many Things That You Wish I Knew

**Author's Note:**

> So this was not at all what I originally envisioned for this fic at all let's get that out there. Basically I just wanted young Tony Stark flirting with current Peter Parker and making him uncomfortable. Also I wanted Peter to struggle with the fact he's in love but isn't sure how to address saying he's in love at all and somehow the two concepts morphed together. I'm playing fast and loose with canon age timelines cause technically Tony was 21 when his parents were killed and here he's 18 for story reasons. 
> 
> I'm not exactly sure this is the end of this series, I may do like a few short fics where Tony and Peter like just go on dates or something because all this angst is so heavy. Oh and make Scott come back, because I love Scott Lang. 
> 
> Title is from Taylor Swift's "Story of Us" which I literally listened to on loop over 100 while writing this fic to try and keep it light and welp. Thanks again to [ Fish](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fishew) for the beta and general advice.

In a way, this all was inevitable. It is kind of a job hazard when you're faced with super-villains that consist of gods, monsters, and really, really messed up scientists.

At least, that's what Peter thinks as he's lead into a hotel room and comes face to face with someone too young and too soft to be Tony Stark. Peter pauses, gapes because he's seen old pictures, old videos of Tony Stark right after he left MIT and nothing could have prepared him for this. 

A woman that Peter has only seen fleetingly as she had ran past almost a year ago looks up from whatever conversation she’s been having on her phone and spares Lt. Colonel a glance that seems way too familiar to be a greeting. When she makes eye contact with Peter, really looks at him, he feels oddly guilty somehow. (Peter wonders if he's always going to feel this way running into all of Tony's exes...or if Ms. Potts was always going to be special.)

"Mr. Parker, I believe this is the first time we've met face to face." Pepper Potts looks exactly like she does on TV, worry is dancing at the edge of her eyes and Peter knows that tends to happen to the people around Mr. Stark. "We have a bit of a situation."

It's then that it hits Peter this is the first time he's seen Mr. Stark in months. 

*

Peter is packing up for the big dorm move, what he can anyway—he's begrudgingly accepting Mr. Stark's offer to help if only because both Mr. Stark and Aunt May guilted him into it. Aunt May's spent most of the past week since Peter's graduation crying and telling him how proud he made her and how much Uncle Ben would have approved and well. Peter's feeling the separation anxiety too—he's only ever had Aunt May and Uncle Ben, and now, now it's just Aunt May. He knows that he needs space, that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity but...it's Aunt May. It's his Aunt May.

Besides, she's not the only thing he's afraid of leaving behind.

Mr. Stark has been increasingly distant in that totally predictable and yet irritating way he tends to get when he thinks that Peter doesn't understand even though actually does. Peter can only try and keep reminding Mr. Stark he's there for a reason, that he's a man who made a choice and that he chose Mr. Stark. He's sure that there's a lot more to what they have going for them and it's been working out so far—for the most part.

"So remind me again why we couldn't get actual movers for the furniture around here?" Tony bitches as he lets Peter pull him down for another kiss against the wall. Aunt May's out on a spa day as they finish packing (Peter’s and Tony's insistence—Peter because he wanted to give Aunt May some actual comfort and Tony because he's got his weird guilt complex) and Peter should be more careful but well, he's 18 and his hot not-kinda-boyfriend is alone in his apartment with him.

"Not like we need movers for much around here—they're giving me a bed and a desk," Peter explains as Tony casually slides his hands inside Peter's shirt, calloused fingers brushing against a nipple that makes him keen. "Oh come on."

"I can't believe you're going to be ok with sleeping on the regulation beds there." Tony hums as he continues to touch and touch and Peter makes another noise as Mr. Stark drags his teeth against Peter's neck. (For a dizzying moment Peter thinks about the night after his graduation party where Mr. Stark had brought him to one of his beach houses and fingered Peter till he thought he was going to go crazy and hopes for a repeat.) 

"Why? You gonna be joining me?" Peter says it as a challenge though it sounds, hopeful, it's such a bad idea and yet. "You're my mentor."

"Not exactly the kind of mentoring that I had in mind." Tony doesn't stop touching him through and in a completely dirty move that doesn't answer the question at all—grinds one of his palms against Peter's dick.

Peter wants to press the issue further, feels like he should, only he’s dizzy on Tony's aftershave and the rush of adrenaline of Tony's mouth on his skin so he lets the subject drop.

*

Mr. Stark doesn't mention it, and in his usual ass-backwards way of avoiding things, flirts extra hard with Aunt May.

He invites her to dinner with them, Peter's happy, but he's got a sinking feeling in his stomach that something's set off Mr. Stark’s internal complex he's got constantly going on in the back burner.

Peter's ready to confront him about it (yet again, because that's how they've been operating so far) but then Mr. Stark is closing Peter's bedroom door behind him and Peter remembers being fifteen and the first time this happened. 

Peter raises a brow in invitation, Mr. Stark rolls his eyes—he takes a seat next to Peter and oh, it's so strange how it hits him that three years of knowing each other, and almost six months’ worth of dating...have led to this. 

"You know, I'm going to spam your phone right? That I'm not really sure how make you see I’m not going away otherwise—despite what your issues think." Because that's how Peter is, wants desperately to say something that he's never really said it to anyone before. 

Tony smirks at him and Peter is learning that's how Mr. Stark smiles nowadays—and it's rare and it's definitely weird but he thinks that maybe, maybe this is kind of important. Peter feels like he's been hit in the gut, heat in his chest. Peter kind of wants to rescind the whole 'I won't say I'm in love' ban that Mr. Stark and him kind of have going on, that was probably unintentional (he thinks). He's not sure how...yet. 

"You're like a bad habit I just can't shake kid." And it's highly inappropriate and complicated but, Peter's happy he's here and with him so—he'll ignore the jab and let Tony pull him into the kiss they both have been wanting.

Peter tries to commit to memory the look on Tony's face when he pulls away.

Like he's almost terrified of it all. 

*

"Promise me you're not going to get weird about this."

"Parker, don’t."

"…Try, ok? Try." 

In hindsight, Peter should have realized that Mr. Stark was lying to both of them, that in true Stark fashion, Tony only ever thought of how to cut himself the deepest. 

*

The first semester of MIT is...intense. He's busy, there's suddenly so much that sometimes he feels like he'll never stop feeling overloaded—never stop moving or ever remember what being actually rested feels like. He barely has time to text Mary Jane or Harry or call Aunt May. His whole life for the first semester seems like one never ending day of constant catch up. School was never this difficult before and adjusting to it all takes a toll on him. 

Peter tries to keep contact with everyone, and if they're as busy as he is, as swamped as he is—they all respond regardless. Harry and Mary Jane are having problems with the long distance thing, nonetheless they're both stubborn so they're making it work. They harass him in their own ways to take care of himself—he loves his friends, really, they're always so paranoid. Aunt May's already visited twice because she's Aunt May, thankfully work's keeping her busy so right now he's dealing with invasive yet well-meaning phone calls instead. 

The only person that isn't as vigilant about the whole keeping in touch thing is Mr. Stark. Which ok fine, they're both busy, really busy—they've established that. Besides, Peter's still reeling from the whole 'maybe love thing' because wow, he's trying to sort all that out. So ok, if things are strained because of schedules and complicated emotions that have him singing along with more pop songs than he lets on then well, that's his business.  (He's pretty sure his roommate is too relieved that Peter's only vice is his shifting Spotify playlist and not something actually crippling like say, a drug addiction or constantly bringing his non-existent girlfriend over). 

Looking at the one worded answers and the rare responses he does get...Peter feels a little lonely. 

Still, Tony is responding so that's something. 

*

Sometimes Peter sits in the student lounge and he'll see Mr. Stark on TV, can see the way the world keeps eating at him, how things always seem to just constantly wear Tony Stark down and Peter knows how easily he gets lost in his own damn head at times.

He almost always texts after that—or leaves a message when he can, usually makes a bad joke or some smartass comment to disarm him, to try and remind Mr. Stark that he's there.

That he's not as alone as he looks like when he addresses the cameras. 

*

Peter's first thought when he realizes that he's off for Thanksgiving is that he's relieved for once that he doesn't have any homework.

His second thought is that he can finally go home and spend part of a week back in New York with Aunt May and eat actual food and sleep in his comfy bed. 

The third is that he can finally, finally see Mr. Stark. 

He texts Mr. Stark as soon as he finds out, tries not to focus on how his heartbeat is doing overtime in his chest and waits for a response.

He's surprised to find how disappointed he is when none comes. 

*

It's dumb and childish but ironically as the semester winds down and Peter begins to see an end in sight—he starts to notice how unavailable Mr. Stark really is. 

Mr. Stark doesn't respond to his texts anymore—even when Peter's iPhone acknowledges Tony's read them, there's nothing else there.

"You can't avoid me forever," Peter texts vindictively as the semester break draws closer. He wonders before he can stop himself if this is how other people in long distance relationships feel. 

If it's supposed to hurt this badly.

*

Thanksgiving comes and goes, he gets to see Aunt May—lets her cry over him as she stuffs him full of food. Harry and MJ stop by and they've been fighting a little more recently, in front of him however, they look so relieved he doesn't pry.

He wants to ask them how they make it work—he's just not sure how.

In the end, he never gets to see Mr. Stark—not even when he does the cowardly thing and asks Lt. Col. Rhodes if he's around.

"Sorry Parker, Tony's out on a mission in London...you know how it is." Peter did, the news is talking about it right now—apparently Loki has shown up again. Peter wonders if Tony's out there saving more kids like him. If he's thinking of Peter as he's doing it. 

Instead, Peter thanks Lt. Col. Rhodes and tells him to tell Mr. Stark he called.

*

Peter goes back to school and gladly throws himself back into school work, starts applying to part time jobs once he's comfortable enough with his study schedule.

Mr. Stark doesn't call once.

Whenever anyone asks Peter about him, he plays off how busy his mentor is—doesn't think about how his chest aches. He goes home: scholarship still secure, lonely, and worn down more than he expected to be.

*

Peter's second semester begins and stays in this strange stasis—he's not sure if he's been dumped, if there was a relationship to begin with, or what he feels anymore because he can't reach Mr. Stark to ask him.

It's beyond frustrating and feels like an open sore that he can't get treated. He puts all his frustration back into classes, into the school newspaper job he landed, into anything else except for Mr. Stark.

He's not ok, and Aunt May knows he's not (she doesn't know why and oh god, he doesn't want to make things overly complicated so he's going to keep letting her think it's over some girl at school)...he can't do much about it now.

So when Spring break rolls around, Peter once again texts Mr. Stark about seeing him and fully expects that to get ignored too. 

What he doesn't expect is the phone call from Lt. Col. Rhodes in response. 

*

"We should have told you earlier Mr. Parker but well, we thought we'd have cured it by now." Ms. Potts seems nice, a lot less intimidating than on the TV—Peter can tell that she's assessing him. She has his sympathy really—he's not sure what he is to Mr. Stark anymore either.

Or well, what he was.

The man...almost boy before him...he's studying Peter also, in a completely different way.

He's Tony Stark, talks with Tony's voice, has the same gestures, with the bravado and then some.

But he's not Mr. Stark.

"How long has he been like this?" Peter has so many complicated feelings right now especially at how obvious it is the other teen (he looks like he's Peter's age which again so complicated) is definitely checking him out.

"A week after you called...Tony didn't check in. He last reported he was bringing in Loki before the line cut off." Lt. Col Rhodes shrugs. "Eventually M16 found him passed out in some seedy hostel in South London without Loki or the suit and 19 years younger—"

"—And he’s also perfectly capable of speaking for himself." And it's so surreal to see Tony Stark without any facial hair, Peter can't deal as Tony walks past him, in that bold, self-assured way Mr. Stark always used to. "If you're asking for a timeline, whoever the hell you are, apparently I've been this way since Christmas—last I remember being this age, I was passed out on the couch in my parents' place." 

Peter makes the mistake of catching Tony's glance, he's both relieved and disappointed at how obviously Tony can't figure out who Peter is or why he's been brought in.

"You’ve been in a lab this entire time?" 

"Something like that," Tony admits, still circling, still thinking. "You're the first person they've brought in my age—you're not my son are you?"

Peter chokes on air.

*

So far the plan has been to keep Tony (‘Call me Tony’) safe till Ms. Potts and Lt. Col. Rhodes can reach Thor (as hard as it apparently seems to be now)—it sounds like babysitting honestly, the alternative is unfortunately leaving Tony to some government lab or marooned at the Avengers compound and that doesn’t feel right. Besides, he’s embarrassed with even how angry he is at Mr. Stark, the idea of a week with him is enough. 

"We should have told you earlier Peter— General Ross has been..." The expression Lt. Col. Rhodes makes is enough. The excuses fall neatly into place, the Avengers probably weren't even allowed to tell Peter, not that they had to anyway—after all, it's not like Peter and Mr. Stark are talking right now. “We need you to keep an eye on him until we can get a cure.” 

Peter swallows around the dryness in his throat and gives Ms. Potts and Lt. Col. Rhodes a smile. Leave it to Mr. Stark to give Peter what he wanted after all and it came out all wrong anyway.

*

"So Parker. ” Tony (‘just Tony’) begins as he settles his bags on Peter’s bed wandering around Peter’s room in a mockery of the way Mr. Stark did three years ago.  “Your Aunt is—” 

“No.” 

“Okay—guess old me didn’t—”

“ _ NO _ .”  If it comes out faster than he means, well, Tony doesn’t notice. Instead Tony sits on his twin bed (Peter doesn’t think about the pang in his chest the last time they both were in this room, on that bed) and raises a brow. 

“Seriously help me out here—what are you to me? You weren’t in the Avengers files.” Because of course Tony Stark even shut up in a government lab and dealing with newfound technology found a way to sneak into classified information. “The only stuff I found about you was some articles that said I was your mentor and then some gossip mags that said you were my boy toy.” 

“Uh…what.”  Peter did not expect Tony to grasp how to use the internet and computers this quickly which, in hindsight, ok fine—his bad. He’s completely caught off guard on how to actually answer the question with a coherent sentence and it comes out as babbling. “How did you—why did you—we were only—“

“Ms. Potts gave me a smartphone, wasn’t that hard to figure out how to use the internet —I mean hello, it’s me.” Tony preens as Peter is hit with the startling thought that he’s at a loss to describe whatever their relationship is now. He settles finally on: “You’re my mentor.”

“Mentor in the biblical sense or—”

“Mentor in the normal sense.” Peter insists even as it burns in his mouth like a lie. 

*

Apparently the conversation only encourages Tony to learn all he can about his future counterpart and Peter’s relationship. Peter figures that Tony would be lot less invested if they were allowed outside and the internet won’t deter him for some reason. (Peter tried to distract him by letting him have free reign of his laptop to disastrous results, Tony constantly kept disassembling and reassembling it.)  It’s strange, despite what Peter expected—Tony hasn’t attempted a jailbreak or suggested one—seems more focused on trying to figure out what he and Peter are more than anything.

“So you’re…what, 19?” Tony asks on day two of captivity, and seemingly bored of googling his future self. 

"Yeah." Peter answers as he dissects the meaning behind another dog-eared passage from _ Their Eyes Were Watching God _ . He likes the book—not when it's assigned for Spring Break reading. Tony shifts against him, leaning against the bed.

"I'm like...40?"

"38," Peter echoes in a strange happenstance of deja vu. He tries not to think of the last time this conversation came up, how long it's been since he and Mr. Stark have spent time together, much less had sex. 

"So we've fucked, right?" Peter almost drops his book at the sudden question. The action is damning enough, even as he tries to stutter through an excuse. "Yeah, we've definitely fucked—the whole ‘mentor’ thing seemed like such an obvious smokescreen. Must be losing touch in my old age. "

Peter suddenly has a new wave of sympathy for Mr. Stark every time he tries to dirty talk the older man.

"Do...you have like a daddy kink or—ok no to the 'daddy kink'." Peter doesn't stop making faces at him, as Tony considers him in that way he tends to do from time to time. It could be unnerving but Peter's already gotten used to it so instead he looks skeptical. "Why would you be with me then?"

...Well, it seems that Tony's inferiority complex was always a thing. 

“You act like we’re dating,” Peter remarks, not without bitterness, going back to his book. 

“We’re not?”

“I don’t…know.”

“Why not?”

_Because you never tell me, because I think we are and you don’t, because I think I may be love you and you ran away_ —all dance on Peter’s tongue, instead he says: “It’s not up to me.” 

Tony goes silent at the response…which, unexpected then again so is this whole conversation. 

“So you don’t want to—”

“—I want to.”  Peter realizes how telling it is that he’s so quick to reply, but well, not like Mr. Stark is here anyway. Not really. “I do—it’s not me that doesn’t want it.”

Tony opens his mouth, seems to thankfully think better of whatever he wants to argue and lets it go. Peter hides in his homework for the rest of the night, ignores the way Tony spends the rest of the night studying him. 

*

Peter is relieved when after days of awkward silence and more awkward questions, Harry texts to get dinner at a nearby diner. 

He’s so happy for the distraction that he forgets to mention bringing Tony until they meet up.

Harry and MJ don’t say anything when Tony’s around thankfully—Tony’s cover story of being some long lost Stark cousin easily slotting into place. MJ sneaks in concerned glances, but it’s Harry that holds him back as MJ and Tony go to find them a table.

"Peter.”

“It’s not what you think.” If it’s mumbled and Peter won’t meet his eyes than that’s nothing new. Harry shakes his head. 

“You know, you’re supposed to be the one who keeps _ ME  _ out of trouble, right Parker?” Harry’s worried, Harry’s always worried nowadays. There’s nothing for him to be worried about though, not anymore apparently.

“Trust me—it’s nothing.” 

MJ and Tony are laughing ahead of them, and for a sec, it looks normal—uncomplicated and natural. It bothers Peter for reasons he doesn’t understand.

“You always were so stubborn.” 

MJ and Tony wave at them, and Peter sighs: “You have no idea, Harry.”

*

Tony Stark obviously feels something for him. He’s taken to flirting with Peter openly, in front of MJ and Harry, even around Aunt May. 

Peter thinks of the broken man that's barely functioning as a whole, the feel of calloused hands around his hips and the feel of five o'clock shadow against his own bare chin. In the face of Tony's open admiration, Peter misses Mr. Stark. 

He doesn’t respond in rejections but they're close enough.

*

Lt. Col. Rhodes contacts him on Thursday, lets him know that they’ve got a solid lead on Loki for the first time in months and he’ll send for Tony if that’s the case. If not, Tony maybe having to follow Peter back to university.

Peter tries to picture student life with Tony Stark, of making peace without Mr. Stark for that much longer.

The image is strangely unappealing.

*

On Friday, with Aunt May out on another date and everyone else busy—Tony has the worst idea ever and tries to seduce Peter.

While Peter is in the living room, furiously burying himself in his homework and totally evading everything Stark related as best as he can.

It doesn’t work for long, especially when Tony sits pointedly next to him and slides his arm behind Peter’s back.

“…What are you doing.” 

"Consider this a scientific study—the new and the old sort of deal—” Sadly, Peter is used to this sort of bullshit logic from Mr. Stark, seeing and hearing it from Tony is nothing surprising. Peter has a whole new appreciation for Tony's patience when faced with a wide-eyed smartass desperate to impress him.

"You want me to compare you now to you 19 years in the future." 

"You know when you say it like that—"

Peter flushes because it's such a typical Tony Stark thing to do, right down to the question that is equal parts morbid curiosity and actual damning jealousy of the man that he'll become. 

"What do you know?"

"Probably a lot more than you."

"You do know you taught me right?" There’s a flash of heat in Tony’s eyes at the phrase and that’s not at all what Peter wanted. Peter pushes the other off of him. 

“I’m—I'm not interested. Sorry.” He means it too, he is curious, of what it  _ WOULD _ feel like with Mr. Stark when he was younger...only this isn’t Mr. Stark, its Tony.  And he’s not who Peter wants. 

“Why?” Tony’s voice goes strange, Peter doesn’t examine it too closely, too tired of the constant buzz of Mr. Stark and Tony in his brain. He wants Mr. Stark, the old one, the one he  _ KNEW _ —and he realizes that now. He opens his mouth to finally say it, except he catches the look on Tony’s face. 

It’s beyond heartbreak, Peter pauses, Tony only knew him for a few days—and rejection shouldn’t have been new. Why would he—unless—

He wouldn’t…He couldn’t…

"You remember, don’t you?” Tony stiffens and Peter realizes, anger flooding him. Of course Mr. Stark would, of course Mr. Stark  _ DID _ . Tony sighs and there it is, there’s Mr. Stark, everything in a softer, smaller body.

“Technically everyone just assumed and I went along—” 

“—You  _ LIED _ .” 

“I didn’t  _ LIE _ —I said I remembered being at my parents’ place—I didn’t mention I also remembered  _ AFTER _ .” Mr. Stark reclines against the couch, “…It’s easier this way.” 

“You  _ WANTED _ this?” 

“You don’t?”

“No, what’s  _ WRONG _ with you?”

“What’s wrong with  _ YOU _ ? We’re the same age now—this is…better.” 

“Why would you  _ DO _ this to yourself?” 

“Why  _ WOULDN’T _ I?” It catches Peter off guard completely; apparently it’s what Mr. Stark’s been waiting to unload the entire time. “Kid, don’t know if you noticed but my life has been steadily declining into shit since Barnes offed my damn parents—no matter what I do, nothing gets better—can you really blame me for wanting a do-over?”

“But you’re…you’re Tony Stark, you—“

“—Are constantly letting people down, killing strangers and letting my friends get injured—I can’t keep doing this Parker, I can’t keep running the damn Avengers alone, it’s been three long years since Cap left with his old war sweetheart and I…” And that’s when Peter finally sees it as a whole, how tired, how broken Mr. Stark must have been. “I just…you have no idea, how happy I was when I woke up and realized what Loki had done to me.”

“You let him  _ DO _ this to you?” 

“No, of course not—I didn’t let him take the suit either, it all…happened and I didn’t try as hard as I could to fight it.” Mr. Stark looks so tired, so broken despite how young his body is, Peter wants to help—even with how angry he is. He holds his ground. “I’m sorry for earlier, ok? I didn’t realize you saw it like that but now, now we can—”

“—We could have before too.” Peter doesn’t know why but he’s angry, so angry—angry at himself for not being enough, at Mr. Stark for hiding this all in the first place, for one more thing he’s kept from Peter. “I never wanted you to change..” 

Mr. Stark looks confused, looks exactly like a lost kid. It’s a downside that he’s deaged, his expressions are completely open. “What can I say? I’m the best at expecting the worst.” 

“This isn’t fair—you’re not fair. It’s not just  _ YOU _ in this.”

“Yeah, that’s...that’s right.” And Peter already knows where that train is heading, he frowns. 

“Stop internalizing that and just apologize like a normal human being.” None of this is fair, Peter likes him so, so much even though he's such an ass. 

“That’s it?”

“I mean not like I can do much, right?” That one actually takes, he can tell because Tony stops looking at him like a dog with a newspaper, pauses to consider it. “You won’t listen to me, and I get that Mr. Stark—but I’m in love with YOU.” 

And it sorta slips out before Peter means it too, yet he can’t stop now.  

“Hold on, back it up. You love me?” Mr. Stark repeats and it sounds equal parts hopeful and concerned. “Me? You love me?”

“Yes. I mean…I think so? I’m like eighty percent sure…”

“…You think?”

“I’ve never been in love before, ok?” And maybe Peter’s panicking cause this wasn’t how it was supposed to go, but Mr. Stark’s been here this entire fucking time and who knows when Peter will get this again so he just need to unload himself. “I love you, like I’m pretty sure I love you, but then you vanished and then you started ignoring me and I’m a kid to you, I’m some protégé and—”

“—Parker, don’t—“

“—No, listen Mr. Stark. I don’t know when I’ll see you again and I don’t know what’s gonna happen so I gotta put all my cards on the table. This is my first relationship—even if I know you think I don’t understand when I keep telling you I do.” Peter rolls his eyes and Mr. Stark makes the same pinched expression he tends to whenever he doesn’t really know what to do with Peter calling him out so casually on his bullshit. “I love you and I know it’s not easy and I know I—there’s a lot I don’t know, but there’s a lot more that I _ DO _ know about you t—”

And there it is lined up before the both of them, along the way Peter’s gotten familiar with Tony and all his unhealthy coping mechanisms, has stuck by his side for three years and hasn’t left—whatever demons Tony’s thinking of that are supposedly going to come for the both of them, they haven’t scared off Peter yet.

“Can I say something?” Mr. Stark offers after a moment, and in that voice, it sounds hesitant, just as scared as his. 

Peter gives a wan smile. “Do I really get a choice?”

“I have some manners Parker.” Mr. Stark gives him a muted smirk back, and Peter wants to say something smart back only Mr. Stark looks at him like…like before, long ago when Peter first felt the urge to  _ TELL _ him he loved him. And it makes everything inside Peter feel like he’s floating. “This was not, one of my better plans, fine. And that’s…a running theme of the last few years of my life. I was scared, kid. Can you blame me?  Once we reach this point, there’s no backing out for either of us— I just wanted you to give you final out. A chance to be happy.”

“That’s kind of bullshit Mr. Stark, you already KNEW what made me happy,” Peter cuts in, exasperated and so hopeful, waiting for a confirmation of what he wanted so much and could never confirm. “Besides, no matter how much you try to act lie this isn’t a ‘thing’ anymore— it kind of already is one, right?”

It’s eerie how Mr. Stark’s able to convey exasperation as well as he does, the twist of his mouth is rueful though, just as hopeful. 

“Alright Peter, fine—I love you too.”

*

Peter doesn’t exactly remember how they got to this point or back in his bedroom, only that after Mr. Stark finally said it, somehow Peter ended up on his lap, tongue desperately shoved down his throat. 

“Wait, wait, wait—you said you ‘weren’t interested’ in me?” Mr. Stark says against his lips, just to be an ass. Peter can feel Mr. Stark’s erection through both of their sweatpants. “I’m the same age as you and with all the rights and privileges that come with it but I’m not that eas—”

“Do you want to test your stamina or not?” Peter demands, taking off his shirt and thankful the blinds are closed. “Yes or no?”

“Shouldn’t we be focusing on other things now that we have confirmed to be in an actual relationship?”

“I was thinking of letting you ride me, but if that’s what you want—”

Tony pulls him back into the kiss, uses teeth and Peter would laugh if he wasn’t so busy trying to take off his shirt.

*

Peter doesn’t actually have a lot of experience with this—which would be daunting if Mr. Stark wasn’t thorough in his explaining and also an ass about the whole thing.

“Ok Parker, don’t destroy my prostate—go slower.” Peter’s got three fingers inside and it’s so warm he can’t focus on it too much because if he does he knows he’ll  _ LOSE _ it. Adjusting the angle of his fingers and whatever shitty thing Mr. Stark was  _ GOING _ to say dies on his lips. Peter repeats the motion—he could definitely see the appeal in being on the giving end.

“Stop that.” 

“What?” Peter’s is so hard, he can’t focus—still, he strokes that one spot inside Mr. Stark to make him shut up apparently. 

“Get the damn condom and fuck me before I go crazy.” 

Peter doesn’t need to be told twice, barely gets himself lubed up in time. It’s the image of Tony spread before him, ready and open and it’s all due to Peter that makes his chest seize up in affection. Also his dick twitch at the idea he’s about to ruin Mr. Stark.

At least as best as he can anyway.

He goes slow, and he can’t hear anything but the pounding of his heart in his ears as he thrusts all the way into Mr. Stark. The angle could be better, and their position is kind of awkward, he’s pretty sure Tony’s legs are probably going to ache tomorrow—it’s all secondary to the hot, tight heat around him. Peter can’t help the whimper that escapes him. 

Tony smirks and does the infuriating thing and somehow TIGHTENS around him, it makes Peter moan louder.

“S-Stop that.”

“Performance issues?”

“You’re such an asshole,” Peter groans as he gives another thrust, reaching for Tony’s dick. He rolls his hips with his next thrust and pleased to find that Mr. Stark’s cock gives an enthusiastic twitch at the action.

“Less sweet-talk,” Tony grits as Peter begins to stroke him through it. Peter wants to kiss him badly, leans forward as it strains his neck to do it. He gets more teeth, feels fangs on his bottom lip and smiles into it.

He doesn’t last long (it feels too good, it’s really has been months and the feeling of Tony, of him fucking Tony is too much for him) and he gives pained noises as he rides out his orgasm, each movement cutting him with how much pleasure it drives in. Mr. Stark follows him after, kisses Peter with an open mouth as Peter whines around the sharp oversensitivity of it all.

“So…” Tony says into the silence occupied by their panting. “Ready for that ride?”

*

Aunt May texts to say her date’s running a little late, which Peter and Tony look over after round four—both of them sated and aching and half-naked as they eat cold pizza in Peter’s bed.

“We’re going to have to tell her—her and Ms. Potts.” Peter announces, failing to show the giddiness when Mr. Stark doesn’t deny. “We’re…We are dating now, right?”

Tony takes a bite from the slice in Peter’s hand, spreads the pizza grease from his lips onto Peter as he licks his fingers. 

“Yes, we are.”  It’s quiet and almost defeated and yet, Tony’s smiling when he looks at him. “Still can’t believe you, I get deaged and have the stamina and sexual appetite of one of your peers and you prefer me in my 30s.”

“No offense Mr. Stark—you’ve still got all that in your 30’s—didn’t exactly leave.” Peter yelps when Tony nips his hand in retaliation and shrugs. “I just like you.” 

Tony doesn’t reply—that’s fine though, Peter knows he’s finally got him where he wants him.

*

Loki’s magic somehow reverses itself that Sunday, Peter wakes up to the feeling of facial hair on his neck and the dense weight of muscle pinning him down.

He opens his eyes and runs his hands through Mr. Stark’s hair. He’d laugh at the way his clothes barely fit Mr. Stark now, except staying in bed, for this much longer with only the two of them seems more pressing.

“You owe me like so many dates, by the way.”

“I know—don’t worry kid, right after your Aunt kicks my ass for all this runaround, I’m taking you out for dinner. I’ve got months to make up for.”

“She’ll only give you a black eye…maybe.” Peter knows that Aunt May’s going to—well, it’s not going to be pleasant—she’ll approve in the end, hopefully. It’s terrifying but, it's better than the alternative, and it makes it all the more real.  Makes this something more. Peter can feel Tony’s smile against his skin. 

“Great.”

“Think of it this way—how do you think Lt. Col. Rhodes and Ms. Potts are gonna take it?”

Mr. Stark makes some kind of dismissive noise, even as his arms tighten around Peter and it’s all the confirmation he needs. 


End file.
